It’s hard to believe that the end of the school year is just around the corner! I’ve spent many a cold, dismal winter nights counting down the days until I could lazily bask in the sun with my family. I always look forward to the idea of doing nothing—no schedule, no homework to manage, no flurry of science fair projects, orchestra rehearsals, PTA events or end-of-the-year test anxiety to soothe. It all sounds like a beautiful dream, but I know from my own experience and from many of the parents I work with that those blissful weeks of summer can quickly turn into a nightmare of cranky kids who swing between bored and overstimulated, have spent too much time on screens and have sleep cycles that are completely upside down. How many times have you dreamed of a glorious summer only to find that two weeks into it you can’t wait for the school year to start back up again? Read on for four tips to help your family survive the summer.

1. Manage Your Expectations: I love daydreaming about summer plans—vacations, day trips, camping, cookouts, activities with family and friends, plans for my garden, and local events I want to attend—all things that fill me and my child with so much joy. But if I were to do everything I dream of, I'd be the least fun mom to be around. In my attempt to do all the things we enjoy, I’d be barking orders at everyone to get us from one place to the next, dealing with a grumpy kid, while I felt overstimulated and likely hangry myself. Learn your own and your family members' limits, and don't tempt fate by pushing them more than necessary. For parents of differently wired kids, balancing downtime might be the key to them being able to enjoy the activities you have planned. No one wants to be the parent carrying a screaming child out of the park because they got too hungry, tired, hot, or overwhelmed. So while all the summer things sound amazing, remember that we only have 12 weeks of summer, and most schools have just a 10-week summer break. Choose your priorities and practice turning down invitations when your instinct tells you it'll be too much for your children or yourself.

2. Maintain Structure: We all know that kids, teens, and even adults thrive best with some kind of structure and routine. It communicates to our brains that the world is predictable and safe. Getting that structure during the school year is easy, but it becomes harder to find during the summer months. Here are a couple of ways you can keep some kind of structure going while your child is out of school:

• Day Camps: This is my number one way of maintaining structure in the summer. It's often a necessity for parents of younger school-age kids who also work, but it can be helpful for families with a stay-at-home parent or adolescents as well. Your kids will have to wake up and be ready to leave the house by a certain time every day, they'll also get to do activities and interact with peers instead of looking at screens all day. Many camps are based around a theme that might match your child’s interests: LEGO, robotics, sports, the arts, or the outdoors. This does require some advanced planning—I have my calendar marked in March to start summer camp sign-ups. Competition for a spot depends on where you live, when I was in Seattle signing up for day camps felt like a full-contact sport. Now that I’m in a smaller city there’s still a lot of demand, but there are often still some openings in half-day camps close to the end of the school year, and kids on wait-lists do tend to get a spot. Day camp can be pricey, but many organizations offer scholarships, including the YMCA, Boys and Girls Club and your local Parks and Rec Department.

• Have a Morning Routine: For families that aren't doing a day camp, or during weeks when your kids don't have camp, just having a morning routine can help the rest of the day go much smoother. It also has the added bonus of making it easier to transition back to the morning routine when the school year starts again. Many families find that things like keeping a consistent wake-up time (although good luck trying this with teens) having breakfast together, and setting expectations around activities like reading, chores, or outdoor time before allowing screens can be helpful. For some kids, having the routine written or visually displayed somewhere helps them understand the expectations and can save you from having to repeatedly remind them. Depending on your children's needs, you might also find it helpful to have some kind of routine around lunch, dinner, and bedtime.

3. Be Flexible: Wait, didn't I just mention maintaining structure? Yes, we need both to survive the summer. Make plans and structure, but don't be so rigidly attached to routines and plans that you forget to pay attention to what your kids need in each moment. Maybe they require some wind-down time, or perhaps the heat has gotten to them, and you need to cut a beach trip short. The idea here is that while you have that structure and make those plans, be flexible within them when the situation calls for it. Sometimes saying "not today" is necessary to preserve everyone's sanity, including your own. Hot tip: Kids and teens tend to have more growth spurts in the summer, so that flexibility might need to include accommodating the fact that your child might need more food and sleep during the summer than the school year.

4. Don't Forget About Your Own Needs: For many parents, the absence of school means lots of extra time with your kids. It's an amazing opportunity to slow down and connect with them, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. Summer can be an extra challenging time to find ways to take breaks and recharge as a parent. But, if you make it a priority to find the time you need to be at your best, your kids will be more likely to have a great summer too. Remember to eat regular meals, get decent sleep, try not to overindulge in alcohol, and find time to do something that doesn't involve parenting. This will provide you with a much better foundation to experience the summer you've dreamed of.

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